Thursday, October 18, 2012

Every evil genius has a plan

King Evil Do-er knows how to ensnare the masses and, like every great genius, has thought of everything and planned accordingly. I want to be King Evil Do-er. Right now I'm like the Baroness of Badstuff. I'm no evil genius. I walk haphazardly, lopping my sword like a fumbling buffoon, just hoping I'll hit something. Putting aside the metaphors, I hate outlines. I hate making detailed plans of my perfect vision. It's tedious, frustrating and technical. Not that writing can't go that way aswell, but we're not talking about writing. We're talking about outlines. Blah.

So, back to the metaphor. Baroness of Badstuff has great ideas. Some are visionary and truly evil, but because of her penchant for winging it, she's always foiled in the end. King Evil Do-er sits her down and has a nice long chat about the importance of thinking ahead and creating a master plan. He hands her parchment and a quill, telling her scratch out a detailed description of her next evil coo. She isn't allowed approval of this coo until it has been reviewed. Baroness of Badstuff grumbles and sits there for hours. She could be out there, wreaking havoc right now, but nooo. She has to make an outline.

Back to reality. So, I keep wanting to get to the writing. I've been brainstorming and outlining for a little over a week. I'm preparing for Nanowrimo. Nanowrimo doesn't begin for another two weeks. I can't do anything. We have to start from scratch, outlines notwithstanding. While I've been outlining, I get bored. Planning isn't really my thing. And especially in writing. I guess I feel like there's a bit of seduction in the idea that, even as the writer, you have no idea where the story is going to go. Alas, I have to plot out my story if I have any hope of writing 1,667 words a day over the course of a month. That's ontop of the revision of my previous book. Outlining is important, especially for me. I have a tendency to derail and end up in new and confusing places that have nothing to do with the direction I was headed. Ha. I just now realized I do that with a lot of things. Talking, for example. Hmm....

On with the metaphor. As Baroness of Badstuff plots out her master plan, toiling endlessly, getting distracted and finding interesting ways to stall, King Evil Do-er looms over her head. She knows there will be no more evil do-ing if there are no plans. As she dots the last 'I', King Evil-doer pats her on the back and sends her on her way. Now the fun can begin. Halfway through her brilliantly executed high jinks, Baroness of Badstuff realized that nobody had put a wrench in her plans. She'd thought of everything. Well, shoot. Baroness of Badstuff felt a little sheepish thinking that a carefully constructed plan would suck the very essence out of being an evil do-er. Yet, here she stood, lord over many minions with people groveling at her feet. She'd never known such victory. King Evil Do-er sent her summons. He was proud of her. She had finally realized what he saw the whole time. She was a great evil do-er, all she needed was a plan. Baroness of Badstuff smiled at the compliment as King Evil-doer promoted her. She was now Countess of the Corrupted.

In reality, I have not finished my outline yet. This is just another way to distract myself. With that, I'm off to grind among the wicked keys.        

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